Our tale last ended with a newly purchased "No Name" scaring the poop out of Romeo upon his arrival in the homestead. You know what they say about first impressions? Romeo was not even closely impressed by the arrival of this little twerp in his once blissful abode. I can still remember the look on his face. Similar to Jesus' response to Judas, I imagine. He was so not pleased and I'm convinced he would have flipped me off if he had opposing digits that would have enabled him to do so. As I was thinking, "This is temporary - it will all be fine," No Name squatted down and peed on my carpet. I had completely forgotten what it was like to have a puppy. Kind of like how you forget what labor feels like until you experience the first contraction with the second child. And you just want to scream the F-word as loud as your lungs will allow. It was kind of like that....
We made it through the first night. Because I'm Mother of the Year, the puppy stayed in The Girl's room and she was "in charge" that night. Until he started barking at 2:00 am. Then I think I staggered upstairs and brought him into bed with me & Mach One. In the three years that Romeo lived with us, he had never made it into the bed. This little bastard was here for three hours and was already snuggled in, under the covers. Bastard. The next day was the moment of truth. I called my mother and told her that I had a surprise for her - her Christmas present, to be exact. Why I was giving it to her on December 12th, she didn't ask. But she did say that she and my Dad were on their way to some fancy brunch at the country club so I better get my can over there if I didn't want to miss them. I grabbed No Name, stuck him in my coat and headed over to the parentals - a full mile away.
I walked in the door and told my Mom to sit down & close her eyes. I'm sure she was holding her breath in anticipation - what could it be? Tickets to Hawaii or maybe a cruise? Surely not a new mink coat or concert tickets to see Barbra Streisand. "Open you eyes," I said. And on cue, No Name popped his head out of my coat. At first, she looked like a deer in headlights. Then she started to cry. Probably not a great sign, you think? I told her that he was hers and I wanted him to keep her company when she was alone - just like Romeo. Just then my Dad emerged from the basement and he too experienced the look of terror the moment he saw the puppy. It wasn't quite the reaction I had expected but I figured they just needed a little time to get used to the idea. After all, he was exactly what they wanted - a male & a clone of Romeo. I was still patting myself on the back for a job well done. My Dad said that with all the tests and doctors appointments they were going to, he wasn't sure how a puppy would fit into their schedule - especially at night. "No worries," I said. "I'll keep him at night and you guys can hang out with him during the day." I figured that once he didn't pee on the floor or wake up 14 times a night to pee, I'd be all set to turn him over. Essentially, when his bladder was ready, he'd be theirs. And with that, they went off to their fancy brunch and I took No Name home. Except that he had a name - Parker. Cinderella liked the "Nosy Parker" concept, so Parker he became. Of course, Romeo couldn't freaking believe it when I came back home with his nemesis. To survive one night was one thing - but this little SOB was back in his house and dammit, he wasn't going to take it anymore. I'm convinced that's what he was thinking. In reality, he cowered in the corner and watched Parker chomp on the rawhide that Romeo had been enjoying moments earlier.
Well, days turned into weeks and weeks turned into months. The parentals would come to "visit" Parker at our house but it seemed less and less likely that he was leaving anytime soon. The fact that they didn't really like him had a little bit to do with my assumption of this fact. Words like wild and out of control were regularly used to describe little Parkie. And the fact that he could shred anything cloth in a matter of seconds didn't enable him to make friends or influence people either. But the longer he lived with us, the more I started to like him. And then like turned into love. It didn't matter that he ripped the crotch out of every pair of The Girl's underwear. And it didn't matter that he chewed the corner off of the decorative molding on our fireplace. Nor did it matter that my son didn't have a pair of socks with toes or that Parkie would chew on snotty kleenexes or used sanitary products that he dug out of the trash. None of these things mattered. All that mattered was that I loved him - and my parents didn't. I later found out that they didn't want just any dog - they wanted Romeo. Not an exact clone - but Romeo himself. A better daughter would have given into their wish - but Romeo is my dog and always will be. I couldn't - or should I say wouldn't - give him up. No way, no how.
So now you know why I have two dogs. I never really planned on either one - but each of them, in their own way, has made me a better person then I started out as. And for that, I'm forever grateful to both of them...