Have I ever mentioned that The Wizard of Oz is my all time favorite movie? Seriously, it is. I could watch it all day, every day and never grow tired of the flying monkeys and the bitch of a wicked witch. I heart The Wizard of Oz - I heart it a lot. Last night, a dream came true - in a scary, near death experience sort of way. I survived a tornado much like my beloved Dorothy. Sadly enough, I didn't end up in Oz singing with the Mayor of the Munchkin City. I did however, lay awake all night because we had no power and my fuckwit neighbor tried to kill us by pointing the carbon monoxide producing ass end of his generator right at our bedroom window. I hate that bastard - I've mentioned that before, right?
Our little town, nestled between the two armpits of Flint and Detroit made the national news last night when an F-2 tornado ripped through it. I have no idea what an F-2 tornado is but it scared the shit out of me - just sayin'. About 5:15 pm, my phone rang and it was my BFF, Jenni in the Hood. Our conversation went something like this:
JillyD: Hey homie, what's happening?
Jenni: Are you in the basement?
JillyD: No, I'm in the bonus room.
Jenni: Are you effing insane? Grab you kids and get your ass in the basement - there's a tornado warning.
JillyD: But the tornado is like a half hour away. And I'm getting ready to head out to dinner, dammit. You know that food comes before safety on my list of priorities.
Jenni: The tornado is heading right toward you. Grab your kids and get your ass in your effing basement NOW!
JillyD: Ok, stop yelling at me for crap sake - we're going right now.
Thank God that Jenni called me up and screamed at me like I was the fruit of her own womb. Had she not been so bossy, I may have been swept away, into the bowels of the twister. That probably would have wrecked my day.
At 5:45 pm, the sky turned black and I looked out the window to see the fuckwit neighbor's tree perpendicular to the ground. That's when I got a little panicky. The Boy kept saying that we were "sitting ducks" - where in the hell he heard that, I'll never know. And The Girl - in all of her pubescent, overly hormonal, constant state of PMS - started to cry. Perfect. I have a comedian and a cryer hanging out in the basement with me. And to add a little more fodder to the situation, my beloved Mach One was in his car, driving into the eye of the tornado. I shit you not, he was one step ahead of the funnel cloud. That fact right there scares me more than anything has ever scared me in my just shy of 40 years on the planet. The Girl is convinced that he made it out alive because she prays for us every night - asking God to keep us safe. I think she's right.
By the time the storm was over, a tree had cracked in half in the Creepy Sex Offender's yard, the idiot's on the corner had to retrieve their trampoline from Creepy Sex Offender's yard and we had no power. And I was still starving - just sayin'. We went to dinner because I'm a whiner baby and insisted on it. Thank God we have a generator and Mach One was able to fire up that bad boy - only after I waited in line for 30 minutes to pump 6 gallons of gas that cost me $20.00. The whole thing pissed me off.
But then I started to hear about the devastation that had taken place only hours earlier in my beloved city. I didn't grow up here - I'm what they call a "transplant." But I love this city so much more then the city that I actually spent my formative years in and the thought if it being damaged in any way broke my heart. I love our community and our friends and everything that this place stands for. I realized how lucky I am that my family was not hurt and our house was not damaged. But there are many people here that weren't so lucky. If you have any extra room on your prayer list - please pray for my beloved community.
A tornado can ruin your day but it also can make you thankful for everything that you have. And I'm thankful for everything that I have - my Mach One, My Girl & Boy, My Jenni in the Hood. Me & Dorothy - we're two peas in a pod - and we're two very lucky gals.