A couple weeks ago, Mach One & JillyD attended the annual Halloween Bash thrown by our friends. The invitation specifically states, "no half assed costumes" which means that your ass better show up dressed up in something. Or you'll be mocked and ridiculed by nearly every inhabitant of our small town. You'll most likely be mocked and ridiculed at some point anyway, but who the hell wants it to happen because you were too effing lame not to dress up for a Halloween party? Not me, that's for damn sure. So dress up we did. JillyD came up with the idea and Mach One created and executed the idea. Which means he made the costumes. My man ~ he's a diamond in the rough. Just sayin'...
We were candy bars. You don't go through life as fat as I am without experiencing the pleasure of a candy bar every now and then. But I'll go on record right now saying that Almond Joy and Mounds candy bars suck shit. That coconut crap is foul. I have food texture issues. I actually have several issues but you already knew that, right? Yeah, don't answer that. Let's move on to the rest of the guest list, shall we?
Here are our hosts, Lisa Loopner and Stanley the Scout Master. A perfect example of why you shouldn't don a Boy Scout or Girl Scout uniform once you've reached puberty. It's just wrong and creepy. And it should be against the law.
And what's a party without Sonny & Cher? Nothing, that's what. Can I just share the fact that Sonny's leisure suit was two sizes two small and required the whole ass to be cut out and re-sewn? Poor Sonny. Poor, dead Sonny. And Cher is looking pretty damn good for an old broad, don't you think? What is she now? Like 80 or something? Sonny's dead and Cher's eighty. What the hell is the world coming to?
Sarah & Todd Palin took the day off from shooting wolves from helicopters in Alaska to hang out with the homies. Did you know that they can see Russia from their house?
JillyD caught Sarah having an interesting conversation with none other than....
SATAN. Based on last night's results, it didn't help her cause, now did it. Don't fuck around with Lucifer, Sarah ~ just sayin'. There's Trig in the Trig or Treat bag. Hi Trig. Don't make eye contact with Satan, k?
Peg & Al Bundy stopped by...
As did our local clergy....
And we highly encouraged these kids to steer clear of the local clergy. Just sayin'...
A lot of networking took place at the party. For example, Peg tried to weasel a spot on the local bowling team. She even brought her own cigarettes...
But the bowling team is full. Doris told Peg to back her bitch ass off because Stella is her partner, dammit and she'll kick Peg's ass if she even thinks about moving in on Stella. Bowlers are very protective of their partners. Didn't know that did ya? That's why I'm here ~ to educate the masses.
Speaking of educating the masses. Who doesn't love Sarah Palin?
About 3/4 of Americans that's who. But I'm not bitter.
And in case you were wondering about the choice of costumes for Mach One & JillyD, this should clear things up for you. He was Almond Joy and I was Mounds because ... wait for it ...
The Girl found this highly inappropriate. I found it funny as hell. Big surprise.
OK, now I'm really homesick...
Looks like a great party - love all the costumes. Those Fenton folks are so creative!
Posted by: jenni from the hood | November 07, 2008 at 11:39 AM
and you have mounds and he doesn't....just sayin!
Posted by: jane | November 26, 2008 at 02:44 PM
guess who's coming home tomorrow???
Posted by: jenni from the hood | December 17, 2008 at 07:19 PM