Schlemeel, schlemazel, hasenfeffer incorporated

Raise your hand if you know what the title of today's post is from.  Better yet, raise your hand if you know what the hell "hasenfeffer" means.  For those of you who were in the pre-pubesecent to pubescent range in the late '70s, "Schlemeel, Schlemazel" can only mean one thing...

Laverne & Shirley.  I used to heart Laverne & Shirley.  Didn't we all?  I had aspirations of living in a basement apartment with my BFF.  And having a cute boyfriend like Carmine Ragusa.  Do you remember The Big Ragu?  He was a dancer AND a boxer.  Such diversity all rolled up into one person.

What do you think ever happened to The Big Ragu?  We know what happened to Laverne & Shirley.  Laverne finally got out of the basement and the brewery and ended up being a pretty decent director.  Remember the movie, "A League of Their Own?"  She directed that.  Tom Hanks, Madonna, Rosie O'Donnell - is it ringing a bell?  One of my favorite quotes of all time is from that movie.  "There's no crying in baseball!"  Except in our case it's softball - same diff.  You can't imagine how much crying takes place on a team of 9 & 10 year olds.  Now if you get blasted by a ball, you can cry.  Although you shouldn't.  Because if you do, then you show the crappy pitcher who can't throw straight that she hurt you.  Better to not cry and then blast a homerun off the next pitch.  Then she cries on the mound and you can wave at her as you skip over every base.  So much better than crying - but that's just me.  Anyway, how did this turn into a softball post.  The season is just starting - you won't believe how many softball posts you'll have to suffer through in the coming months.  There's a time and season for everything.

So back to The Big Ragu.  What do you think happened to him?  I have a guess.  I think he may have left Hollywood - or wherever the hell Laverne & Shirley was filmed and moved to a small town in Michigan.  He & I became pals and started hanging with the same crowd.   Given his celebrity status, he still has to stay incognito when he goes to parties & such.  I know it's him but others, not so much...

Look at the bling on that guy.  He clearly made enough lettuce to support his shoe fetish while living the glamourous life in Tinseltown.  He dumped Shirley and married the always lovely, McD Shortay aka Trixie.  Sorry, Shirl - Trixie is a hottie pants and a helluva poker player...

Carmine & Trixie also decided to procreate.  Carmine spends a lot of time with the fruit of Trixie's womb.  Come to think of it, he spends a lot of time with the fruit of my own womb as well.  Here he is teaching the girls the hottest dance move from 1976 - the same moves he taught Lenny & Squiggy back in the day...

The Big Ragu is my pal.  I heart him a lot.  Except he's really not The Big Ragu.  He's really McD's Bad Boy.  But we pretend that he's The Big Ragu because, well just because.  You tell me why, 'k...

It's s-c-a-r-y, isn't it?  When bad hair happens to good people.  God knows, I have enough experience with that. 

So McD's Bad Boy is the local celebrity in our posse.  And I've already decided that we're all dressing up as the Laverne & Shirley gang for Halloween this year.  Me & Jenni from the Hood will be L & S - Mach One and Pocket Aces can arm wrestle over Lenny & Squiggy and McD's Bad Boy will complete us with his Carmine Ragusa impersonation.  Where does that leave Trixie?  Laverne's dad's girlfriend - what the hell was her name?  Mrs. something?  Naw, we need a better part for Trixie.  Good thing I've got 6 months to get crack-a-lackin on that.

Comments

[Mach One]

I do not think arm wrestling will be necessary. If my memory serves me correctly, Lenny is taller than Squiggy. That will dictate me being Squiggy, since Pocket Aces is much taller than I. Although I am not sure how I will pull off the slicked back hair.

[Yo]

Wow! I never realized we had celebrity residing so close!
I believe Mr. Defazio's gal pal was Edna Babbish; I could be wrong.

[Trixie Shorte']

My Dear, dear friend . . .
You are so hilarious that we all just need to SOOOooo treasure the time we have with you until Letterman snatches you up. (I'll bet you never saw THAT 'snatch' coming. It almost got right by you, didn't it Jilly D.)(Amazing what one can slip into an innocuous comment,Hmmmm?)
Seriously, we are blessed to have you so generously bestow upon us your brilliant verbage. Sounds so much like herbage. Do your lovely children read this? I'd better check.
I'll be Leather Tuscadero. Yo! Pinky!