Peace & harmony have been restored on the planet. Why, you ask? Because the days of Sanjaya are long gone. Holy shit - could it have taken any longer for this kid to hit the road?
As I've mentioned before, I abhor country music. It makes me break out into hives and vomit blood. Ok, vomiting blood is pushing it a little. Maybe I should say that hearing country music makes me want to vomit blood. Hearing Sanjaya attempt to sing a country song makes me want to vomit blood and then rip my own head off after I'm done. Not that I was toe tapping to any one of the contestants yodling but he was really bad. Like make my dogs howl bad. And since when does a do-rag translate to country music? If they were throwing down on Eminem or Snoop Dogg, then by all means wear the do-rag, Pipsqueak. But you were singing Bonnie Raitt. Which brings up a good point. Aren't there a plethora of country music singers that are boys? Singing about cheating on their woman and getting drunk? Oh wait, that's the rap music I listen to. But you get my point. Hell, pick Willie Nelson or Conway Twitty or somebody that has an XY chromosome configuration. But Bonnie Raitt? What the hell? Is she even a country singer? Is she even still alive? Not that it matters if she's alive, mind you. I'm sure dead people have just as good of songs as those that are alive so don't get all crabby with me thinking that I hate dead people, because I don't. But the choice of song was b-a-d. And he was horrible. So horrible, it was bordering on comical. Which who knows, maybe that's what he's going for. Make a mockery out of the show and laugh your ass all the way to the bank? It could happen - and most likely will. He's already earned (and I use the term loosely) a coveted spot on the AI Tour. And he'll make more money doing that then I'll earn in my lifetime. Whatever. I can sing dead Bonnie Raitt's song better than him - there's no doubt in my mind. And my friends will back me up on that.
I nearly crapped down both legs when I saw LaKisha AND Blake standing next to Sanjaya. I'm sure they nearly crapped their own pants, as well. LaKisha was not good on Tuesday. I like her but she really needs to liven it up a little. Now it may have had something to do with the fact that she sang a song called "Jesus Take the Wheel." Who writes these songs? Did you listen to the words? Some moron who's got her infant out in a blizzard and damn near kills her and the kid when she spins out on ice? What the hell? I just can't listen to that. I'm more about songs that tout the finer things in life, like "flying first class, up in the sky - poppin' champagne, living my life in the fast lane - I won't change by the glamorous." Now if Fergie was a country singer, the champagne would have exploded and blinded her in the process. And then the plane would have crashed, killing all on board, including the poor, blind girl. Who listens to that shit? But back to LaKisha. She wasn't good. Did I mention that already? But I'm not sure that it's her time to go just yet. So maybe hanging out in the circle of shame with Sanjaya will be the kick in the ass that she needs. Or maybe not. But she really needs to forget that she ever learned "Jesus Take the Wheel" because quite frankly, it was a disaster and she'd do herself a favor to never utter it again.
I love, love and triple love Jordin. So does Mach One. Maybe I should be jealous? Naw, she's jailbait. And what would he want with her when he has me? Don't answer that. I thought Chris sucked and his whole "nasaly is a way of singing" made him sound like an idiot. Is nails on a chalkboard a way of singing too? Cuz that's what you sounded like, Chris. Blake didn't thrill me either but like LaKisha, I don't believe that he belonged in the bottom three. Dumb, nasaly Chris should have been in that spot. Phil was actually pretty good. Maybe he's a country boy at heart - doin' a little goat ropin' and fryin' up calf nuts when he's not performing. It could happen. Who have I forgotten? Oh, Melinda. She was fine, I guess. I like her hair extensions. They actually make her look like she has a neck. Not that there's anything wrong with people who don't have necks.
So Sanjaya is history. The butt of our jokes & the subject of fodder. We'll miss you, Sanjaya. Actually we won't. But who the hell are we going to mock now? I'm sure I can come up with someone new - have no worries.
Notice how it was all cloudy, cold and rainy yesterday? Sanjaya is gone and today brings a beautiful day with sun shine and warmer weather. Coincidence? Maybe, but there were cheers and relief from our group watching the show.
Posted by: Mach One | April 19, 2007 at 11:00 AM
Yep, got your back on your singing ability...plus you're much better lookin' than that disaster!
I'm probably the only person in the US that doesn't watch AI...I figure why waste an hour watching TV when I can get all the goods from JillyD's blog - it's much more entertaining!!
Hope you enjoyed your b-day lunch with Bandcamp and your mom :-)
Posted by: jenni from the hood | April 19, 2007 at 01:10 PM
Now that Sanjaya is gone, guess I will brush up on my texas hold em skills online for an hour on Tuesdays. All In!!!
Posted by: Wyseguy | April 19, 2007 at 01:28 PM
Bonnie Raitt is so not dead! :)
...and I am guessing you weren't thrilled with Carrie Underwood taking the country route and coming out with the single "Jesus Take the Wheel?"
Although I did want her, Carrie U., to win, I am not a fan of that song either. UCKO!
Posted by: CB in NM | April 19, 2007 at 02:48 PM
Now I don't have to stop watching AI---this was going to be my last week if they didn't vote him off. I should really take Wyseguy's advice and watch hold em on tv during that time to brush up on my skills.
Posted by: Triple L | April 19, 2007 at 06:20 PM
Did you get your Roomba?????
Posted by: Triple L | April 19, 2007 at 06:23 PM
The Tigers lost 4-3. The Kestrels lost 4-3. Sanjaya was voted off of Idol. Something good had to happen yesterday!! I can't believe that you don't know who Bonnie Raitt is! You truly don't know any country music! You should try it...you may like it...I'm just sayin'!
Posted by: Band Camp | April 19, 2007 at 10:02 PM
"But who the hell are we going to mock now?" Not to point out the obvious, but I'm pretty sure you just mocked Melinda "no neck" DoLittle. That's OK, though... Justin is convinced she looks like Shrek.
Posted by: Mo | April 20, 2007 at 04:38 PM