Photo Fun: The Hair Salon

Can you think of anything more enjoyable then looking at old photos?  Ok, I'm sure you can.  But you have to admit, it is fun to go back into time and pretend that you're 120 lbs. again.  At least it's fun for me - whatev.  It's even more fun when you discover crazy ass things going on in the photo that you never realized were there before.  I've said it before and I'll say it again - always assume there's a camera around.  Case in point - remember this gem?

Let's take a look a look at this new beauty that I came across the other day.  So much fodder and so little time.  So let's begin.  Here's the photo:

1.  Holy Mary, Mother of God - can you freakin' believe how skinny I used to be?  I swear, my calves are the size that my arms used to be.  So I may be a little chubby now but at least I don't have zits anymore.  Or at least not many.  What the hell was going on with my complexion?  Maybe they were more obvious because I was so damn skinny.  Or maybe all of the healthy food that I was eating to stay so damn skinny was wreaking havoc on my skin.  See, that's the reason that I'm a chubette these days - I want to keep my skin clear.  That's exactly the reason.

2.  Let's ponder the patrons of the establishment, shall we?  And let's begin with the girl whose hair I'm pretending to cut.  We'll call her Satan's Spawn, ok?  Did she really think that using a Sharpie as eyeliner was a good look for her?  And not only that, but she opted to bring it into a demonic, point at the outer corner of her eye.  Thus her moniker, Satan's Spawn.  That is most unattractive.  Just sayin'...

I've dabbled in this look myself.  But in my defense, it was Halloween for crap sake...

And I still had on less eye make up then scary girl.  And I didn't have ugly bangs either.  Once again - just sayin'.

The other patrons are equally as scary - in a different sort of way.  What the hell is going on here?

Now I've had a lot of things done at the hair salon.  But I can guarantee you that I've never looked like this.  What is that - a faux-hawk?  Is that Sanjaya's mom?  And don't you think you would have screamed like a banshee if anyone, and I mean anyone, would have had a camera within a 25 mile radius of you looking like that?  Instead of hiding behind the magazine or covering her head with it, she decided to look right at the camera.  Is she kidding me?  I wonder who she is and whatever happened to her?  And I wonder if she'd appreciate the fact that she's featured on JillyD's blog with that crazy ass hair.  See what I mean about always assuming there's a camera around?

And let's not forget to mention this one (and I apologize in advance for the scary close up of Satan's Spawn - makes you shiver, doesn't it?)

Does that chick have legs?  Not Satan's Spawn - the other chick.  I'm not sure she has legs.  She has part of a leg but where the hell is the other half of it - not to mention the matching one that should be right next to it.  And if she does have legs, how in all that is sane & right in the world, does she have them tucked up under herself like that?  Is that a yoga move?  She's like a damn human pretzel.  If I even attempted that, I would be in traction for the rest of my life.  Limber isn't really a word used to describe JillyD.  Even her mullet isn't enough to distract you from her apparent lack of limbs.  Wonder if she and Crazy Hair Lady are friends?  She looks too nerdly to hang around with Satan's Spawn, think? 

3.  And while we're talking about hair - and we were.  Mine's a little on the, shall we say, BIG side.  Or maybe its state of bigness is in direct proportion to my skinny ass face.  Maybe my hair seems less big these days because my face is equally as big.  Or maybe it's because I don't perm the crap out of it anymore.  I'm going to go with the latter just to make myself happy on this fine Saturday afternoon.  Feel free to think the same thing.  Living on Fantasy Island isn't a bad thing.

That concludes our first episode of Photo Fun - JillyD style.  Feel free to leave your own observations & musings.  And if anyone wants to play along, feel free to email me your own photo.  Cuz nothing beats a trip down memory lane - especially if people with ugly hair are involved.

Comments

[Band Camp]

OMG! Were you ever skinny! Look at those muscular arms! Love the Halloween pic! Mysterious eyes! I will have to dig up the picture of WyseGuy & me with our matching perms! That was a gem...remember?
Ever think about being a hairdresser? Just sayin...

[Uncle Garr]

Good times on the CAC Photo Road Rally...good times...

(Remember how we won it all having our picture taken "with" Bill Bonds?? BRILLIANT!)

[Wyseguy]

The good thing is Bandcamp does not have a clue how th email a picture, and I am now going to go thru all the old pics we have and burn anything I don't want to get out.

JillyD - the green top looks like the one my grandmother wore cleaning the house.

Now back to finding all those horrible pictures of me.

[Mach One]

Pictures of JillyD from when I was trying to woo her while we worked at CAC. This was a fun road rally with Uncle Garr. I also remember peanut butter being smeared on someone’s head.

[Uncle Garr]

That would've been Mr. Uncle Garr's head, Mach One. Except we cheated and used a plastic Kroger bag to hermetically seal his head before applying the Jif!

[Yo]

I did not realize (probably neither did Satan Spawn!) you were a beautician!!! Did you manage to work any magic! You should have put down the scissors and scrubbed her makeup OFF!